Succubus Revealed Chapter 15

It was easier utter than d genius, and erst Hugh and Roman gave me some space, the full impact of what had get windn place in reality and truly hit me. band was Kyriakos.Kyriakos was Seth. even afterward(prenominal) witnessing what I had with my give eyes, I dont judge I would declargon believed it if something inside me . . . some gut instinct . . . hadnt told me it was completely true. Not that Id invariably suspected it. Not that Id ever dreamed it. The draw that Id snarl to Seth had been strong, no question, just as the draw to his other(a) incarnations had been. Id invariably felt thither was something special nigh Seth in dispelicular, though, and wondered now what might wipe out set this keep history apart from the rest. Did some part of me or some part of him? get laid that this was the last risk for us to be together? Was that where the urgency was glide slope from? Or was it more(prenominal) ab pop the passage of meter and whom I had conk turn u p? Recent years had do me more jaded most life as a succubus, and I wondered if perhaps that was what make him and our esteem so precious to me at this point in time.Our love, which had just blown up before my eyes.I c entirelyed in sick to work the next twenty-four hours, something that didnt unfeignedly go over in all that well. It was Christmas Eve, one of the busiest days for Santa and his mall team, besides I didnt c be. There was no way I could instance that chaos, non after what had happened with Seth. I was told curtly that if I didnt come into work, thus I shouldnt expect to be rehired next year. I almost laughed and exclusively save coiffed to cling to some shred of professionalism, as I gravely informed my manager that Id take that risk. Next Christmas, Id most likely be in Las Vegas. Even if I wasnt, I was pretty sure I could manage to get by without minimum wage and my foil dress.Finding Seth proved trickier. He didnt answer my phone calls, and when I went to his condo, no one answered. N both his nor Margarets car was parked out front, leading me to believe they were either doing last-minute Christmas shopping or visiting Terry and Andrea. If it was the former, I had no way of locating Seth easily. If it was the latter, I certainly wasnt dismissal to hoy into Terrys house and demand Seth speak to me. The situation might be dire, hardly I still had my boundaries.It wouldve been so easy to use these obstacles as the kernel to dodge tittle-tattleing to Seth altogether. Despite my assurances to Hugh and Roman, I in reality didnt unavoidableness to see Seth. Well, the part of me that was in love with him did. That part was in agony e truly flash we werent together. But the rest of me didnt want to face that expression again, that terrible harm on his face. I didnt want to submit the reality of what I was.Despite agreeing to see Seth, I really hadnt been able to truly convey to Roman and Hugh just how agonizing the thought of c onfront up to my sins was. I hadnt been able to handle the wrongness of what Id done and so I could barely do it now. Id sold my understanding, blighted away the memories of all those Id loved . . . all because I didnt want to accept the responsibility of what a terrible thing Id done. Youd think after almost a millenary and a half(a), that fear and self-preservation would have changed. I guess it hadnt.Or by chance it had. The fact that I was trying to find Seth now was verification that I had changed a little, enough to attempt some other conversation after his adamant rejection of me.Kincaid?I glanced seat me. I was standing in retrace at a coffee shop Seth occasionally sponsor to sit and write. Coming here had been a long shot, and I hadnt been all that surprised to see he wasnt around. furthermost I knew, he hadnt been here in ages, especially with everything going on in his family. Apparently, this place had other patrons I hadnt jazzn to the highest degree.Doug, I utter in surprise. I right away placed my order for a white chocolate mocha and then waved as Doug st furled over to me. Hed just come in, and fine drops of water cover his black hair. What are you having? I gestured to the barista. Doug olfactory modalityed a little surprised exactly only hesitated a mo ment before ordering an inhumanly sized form of drip.Thanks, he told me, when I handed it over to him.You want to sit a minute? I asked. My original intention had been to grab the mocha and go. I didnt know what Dougs plan was, but some perverse urge make me want to try to get a moment with him.Sure, he verbalise, feel a little uncertain. But just for a minute. Ive got to be at work in an hour.We dont want you to be late for that, I agreed, remittal down at a small table that gave us a fine view of the sleet outside. Seattle wasnt really known for white Christmases. all told those last-minute shoppers trying to get their boxed sets.The ghost of a grin crossed his face. You know it. Im surprised you arent at work. Is it true? I hear you were, uh, working elf duty at a mall on the Eastside.I grimaced. Painfully true. But I quit today.His eyebrows rose. On Christmas Eve? Thats cold, Kincaid. Think of the children.I know. But, well, something came up. . . . I glanced away, unable to meet his eyes as all my troubled feelings threatened to surface.Yeah, I can tell, he state.I dared a encounter back. What do you mean?Doug shrugged. I dont know. Just this oscillation I always got off of you when you were feeling blue. You put on a nifty face for most of the world, but when something hurts you, your energy changes. Christ. He took a big drink of coffee. Now Im sounding all New Agey and shit.Well, whatsoever it is, your instincts are right. I reconsidered. Though blue is kind of an understatement. More like navy. Or even black.Mortensen? he guessed.I shook my head and glanced away again. You dont want to hear about that. Although, perhaps some part of him w ould be well-chosen to know Seth and I were finished. Itd be vindication after what we did to Maddie. adjudicate me, verbalise Doug. When I didnt answer, he sighed. Kincaid, I dont hate you. Im not intelligent about what went down, but in some weird, twisted way, I do still care about you. If somethings wrong, you can tell me. Did Mortensen hurt you?No, I tell. Then Well, yes, but not without cause. I hurt him first.Ah.I dragged my compliments back to Doug. His eyes were dark and serious, no trace of enjoyment in my suffering. Ive been trying to find him today . . . trying to get a cargo hold of him. But I think hes avoiding me. No, I know hes avoiding me.Youll patch it up, said Doug.I dont know. I dont think we can this time. This time, he scoffed. Kincaid, the first moment I saw you and Mortensen together, at that place was something there. I dont know how to describe it. I was always surprised you guys never went out. I was surprised when he started going out with Maddie , though they seemed happy enough until . . . well, you know. Until he estimate out he should be going out with you. He paused, thinking. Anyway, I talk a good talk about love in my songs but really dont know shit about it in real life. From what I do know, though, I feel like its going to take more than whatever argument this is to keep you guys apart.Thanks, I said. Thats nice of you . . . but you dont know. What I did was pretty terrible.What you guys did to Maddie was pretty terrible, said Doug. But Ive forgiven you.You have? I asked, startled.Yeah. He seemed a little surprised by the admission. I mean, it helps that this neurosurgeon asked her out last week. I can forgive a lot if it means having a doctor brother-in-law. But in all seriousness? I know you guys didnt mean to hurt her, just like you didnt mean to hurt Mortensen here. What you did do is screw up majorly in the forthcomingness department.Forthcomingness? I repeated.He waved me off. Whatever. Its a word. If you guy s had been honest with yourselves and with her, you couldve saved everyone a world of hurt. defend that in mind now.Youre a regular relationship guru, I said, earning me another scoff. Yet, as wise as his wrangling sounded, I still didnt think there was both way to fix this thousand-year-old hurt. Before I could mobilize another comment, my phone rang. I looked down at the display in surprise. Its Seth.You interrupt answer it, then, said Doug.With a gulp, I did.Hello? Yeah. Uh-huh . . . sure. sanction . . . I apprehend. Okay. Bye.I disconnected and Doug gave me a questioning look. That didnt sound all that warm and fuzzy.Seth wants me to come to Christmas dinner tomorrow, I said disbelievingly.Well, thats a good sign, said Doug.I shook my head. I dont think it is. He said he doesnt want to create more upset in the girls lives and just wants me there for appearances, to make them happy. He made it clear that nothings changed, nor does he expect it to.I guess its more of a luke warm sign, then, said Doug.I sighed, and Doug gently chucked my chin.Cheer up, Kincaid. You wanted to talk to him. Heres your chance, no affaire what he said. Dont waste it.I mustered a smile. Howd you get so wise, Doug?He finished his coffee in a gulp. Fuck if I know.Dougs words were the kind that you hear in movies and books, the kind that power the against-all-odds comeback we love to see. It was my one chance, my chance to break through Seths environs and surmount the insurmountable problems in the midst of us.But Seth made sure I never had the chance.I arrived on my own, laden with presents, and was immediately directed to entertain the girls. Seth made the request, since he and most of the other cock-a-hoops (except Ian, who only marginally counted as an adult anyway) were dug in inside the kitchen, and it seemed very reasonable. Normally, I wouldnt have disposed(p) either, except I had the gut feeling Seth was purposely care us utmost apart and constantly surrounded by people.So, I played with the girls, only half- minding as they excitedly told me about what theyd gotten for Christmas. The only time my brooding thoughts shifted from Seth was when Brandy remarked about how more presents had shown up under their tree this morning than could be accounted for.No one will own up to having gotten some of the presents. Mom and pascal think Uncle Seth did it. He thinks granny did it, Brandy said in a soft voice, so the littler ones wouldnt absorb her.What kind of presents? I asked.She shrugged. Just toys . . . but lots of them. Like, Mom and Dad got Morgan some Princess Ponies. But this morning ? There were some Power prism Ponies there too.I vaguely recommended Carter and Morgan discussing those very ponies. Maybe Santa came by, I said.Brandy rolled her eyes, looking for skeptical. Maybe.When dinner came, there was no avoiding being near Seth. Everyone pass judgment us to sit together, and he could hardly ask to move someplace else. But again, with so many an(prenominal) people around, it didnt matter. I wasnt going to take aim up any d passionous topics in the middle of Christmas dinner, and Seth knew that. both of us were silent, simply listening as the others talked excitedly about the day and how happy they were that Andrea was feeling better.When dinner ended, Seth was the first one up and made a big deal about how all the guys should do dishes tonight while the ladies of the household retired to the living room. Everyone was pleased with this idea, except for Ian and me.What is it with you guys and Christmas? asked Andrea conspiratorially.I was sitting with her on the loveseat watching as Kendall directed Morgans ponies into an epic troth to the death. Huh? I asked, glancing away from the battlefield.You and Seth, said Andrea. I guess last Christmas, you guys were the alike. Isnt this suppositional to be the happiest day of the year?I repressed a grimace. Last Christmas, Id found out that Seth had slept with M addie in an effort to protect me from a relationship with him. Yeah. That hadnt been a great holiday either.Weve got nothing against Christmas, I said bleakly. Just . . . some issues to sort out.She frowned. Is it about his tour? I figured youd be for that.What tour?His publisher wants him to go traveling right after New Years. Seth had originally refused because of . . . well, me. But Ive felt so good lately, I told him he shouldnt waste the chance.I hadnt known about that. I wondered if it was something that had just come up in the last day or if Seth simply hadnt told me beforehand. The tour would fall before my Las Vegas transfer, and I wouldnt have put it former(prenominal) Seth to decline it in order to maximise his time with me. Well, at least before things went bad.Thats not it, I said after several seconds, when I realized she was expecting an answer from me. Its . . . complicated.It always is, she said wisely.I looked historic her, toward the kitchen, where I could just barely see the Mortensen men moving around with the dishes. For now, Id just settle for a a couple of(prenominal) moments alone.She made no comment about that, but later, when the guys re moody to the living room, she said very casually, Seth, would you mind going upstairs to get my red cardigan? I leave it on the foot of the bed.Seth was about to sit down far away from me, of course but sprang up instantly at the request. As soon as hed disappeared up the stairs, Andrea nudged me with her elbow. I turned to her, startled, and she jerked her head toward the stairs.Go, she mouthed. I glanced around, saw no one was paying much attention to me, and travel after Seth.I found him in the bedroom, staring around oddly for the sweater that most likely didnt even exist. When he saw me in the doorway, he sighed heavily, realizing hed been tricked.I dont have time for this, he said, attempting to move past me.I put out my arm to block the door. Seth, please. Just listen to me. Just for a few minutes.He stood there, only a few inches away, and then backed up. Since he apparently didnt want to push past and risk touching me, he must have decided surpass was better, even at the risk of being trapped in the room. Georgina, there is nothing you can say. Nothing that can change what happened between us.I know that, I said. Im not going to try.He eyed me suspiciously. You arent?I swallowed, all words and thoughts fading from me as I stared into his eyes. There it was that look. That same look of hurt and utter devastation that Kyriakos had worn so many centuries ago. It was looking out at me through Seths eyes.I nodded. We need to know about your submit. We just want to know some details.To help you? he asked.To help both of us. From what weve gathered, Hell violated my contract when it wrote yours. And that makes the modifys of yours contradictory. We might be able to get them both invalidated . . . but we need to understand yours better.Seth leaned against the wall , eyes staring vacantly ahead as his thoughts turned inward. I dont even understand the details of my contract. I barely remember it. . . . I mean, I do and dont. What went down . . . with the hypnosis . . . its real and its not.I started to take a step forward, wanting badly to touch him and comfort him since he was clearly distraught. Caution held me back. You have to try. Right now, if you dont, then youre going to go to Hell when you die. Doesnt matter if you become a saint before then. That contract brands your psyche . . . unless, well . . . were not sure if there was some condition that if you and I got back together, then youd be free. Thats what we need to know.Does it matter? he asked. Seeing as that doesnt look like its going to happen doesnt look like it was ever going to happen, if all those lives were any indication.Well, I mean, yeah . . . it matters in that the more information we have, the better our case.Cant you just have Hugh look it up?I shook my head. Not wi thout raising attention. Itd be better if we can get the details from you.Well, sorry, then. I dont remember anything more than what I told you. And honestly? I dont care.How can you not care? I asked incredulously. Its your thought were talk aboutIll take my chances, he said.A spark of anger permeated the sorrow that had clung to me these last couple days. There are no chances. Its a done deal. Your soul belongs to Hell. Nothings going to change it.Does it really matter? You gave your soul to Hell.For you I cried. I did it for you. To save you. I would do it a century times over if I had to.Seth scoffed. Why didnt you just not cheat on me one time?I was young, and I was stupid, I said, amazed at how levelly I could acknowledge that. I was scared, and I felt like you were so far away from me. Like I wasnt part of your priorities anymore. It was all about work and music for you.And you never thought about talking to me about any of that first? You know you can always bring anything up to me.I sighed. To you, maybe. Not to Kyriakos. He . . . you . . . may have meant well but wasnt always so easy to get through to.But I am him, argued Seth, though he sound a little unsure. Er, was.Yes and no, I said. Look, Im no expert on reincarnation, but from what I know, even though the soul and some parts of the character are constant, theres still, like . . . evolving taking place. You grow and change. Thats the point of reincarnation. Youre the same person, but you arent. You werent ameliorate back then. Hell, you arent now. Maybe you Seth can handle talking about this . . . maybe after ten lives, youve developed enough relationship maturity. dressing then? Im not so sure. I obviously didnt have it either.Obviously, he repeated. His gaze held me for a long time, and this time, I couldnt tell what he was feeling. At least there was no overt hate or anything. both that, or hed simply learned to conceal it. Finally, he said, I meant it. I dont remember the contract det ails. . . . Just that I would be allowed to keep finding you.Thats it? I said. Nothing else? If theres anything more . . . I mean, the stakes here are huge, Seth. I know you said youd take your chances, but remember when were talking about your soul, were looking beyond the scope of one human life. Were looking at eternity.There you go again, he said, with a small, rueful smile. do an argument for the sanctity of the soul, a soul you threw away.And I told you before, Id do it again.So you wouldnt have to face me and look me in the eye after what youd done.In part, I said. But also to save your life. To give you a chance at happiness. Because at that moment . . . that was more important than my eternity.Seth took a long time to answer, and I again wished I knew what was happening behind those brown eyes. Whose thoughts were stirring in there? His or Kyriakoss? Or any of the other men Id had turbulent romances with?You didnt want to face me then, he said at last. But here you are. W hy? To save your own soul?To save both our souls, I said.Seth straightened up from his slouch against the wall and moved toward the door. I cant help you. I mean it I dont remember anything else. Now. If youd please make some polite excuse to the others and leave, Id really appraise it.He came to stand in front of me in the doorway, and for a half a second, time stood still as we studied each other, only a few inches apart. A thousand feelings warred within me, powered by a thousand years worth of lifetimes. With a slow nod, I yielded and let him walk past me.He didnt look back.